I don't understand myself sometimes! I've have been trying so hard to eat clean and be healthy and today I feel like I totally blew it! I started the day off with bootcamp and then the gym. Breakfast consisted of a paleo diet vegetable slice and 1/3 cup of baked beans. After sitting in front of the computer for over an hour and getting absolutely no where I started to potter around the house doing the laundry, cleaning the kitchen, making multiple cups of green tea before sitting back down to have another attempt. At about 12 I made myself lunch (paleo diet veggie slice with salad) and had another cup of green tea. All morning I had been fighting against myself finding that as soon as boredom struck I would wander into the cupboard to see what there was to snack on. A couple of times I reached for the biccie jar before firmly telling myself I don't need it and placing it back in the cupboard. After lunch, the unthinkable happened. Before I could stop myself I had scoffed down three biccies and 5 honeycomb chocolate pods. I had just bitten into a chocolate frog when I realised what I was doing and spat it back out.
It makes me hate myself so much when I do things like that. I know I can't use it to convince myself that I have screwed up my day and therefore am entitled to eat junk but it does just make me really really sad. I don't know how to explain the feeling that comes over me when I have a brain snap like that, it's the weirdest feeling. I am legitimately on auto pilot and can't snap myself out of it! It's horrible.
Anyway, thats okay. Onwards and upwards! I'll go for a run tonight and we have touch training this afternoon.
I think part of my problem is that I feel like theres no one to hold me accountable which is why I have decided to write out my goals in big pink text!
LIST OF GOALS: TO BE ACHIEVED BY 1 DEC 2012
1. TO FIT BACK INTO MY SIZE 6 CUE SHORTS
2. TO FEEL COMFORTABLE IN A BIKINI
3. TO BE ABLE TO BUY A PRETTY BALL DRESS
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